`{"id":922,"date":"2012-09-25T12:52:09","date_gmt":"2012-09-25T19:52:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.lakielove.com\/?p=922"},"modified":"2012-09-25T12:52:09","modified_gmt":"2012-09-25T19:52:09","slug":"dogs-have-masters-cats-have-staff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.lakielove.com\/2012\/09\/25\/dogs-have-masters-cats-have-staff\/","title":{"rendered":"Dogs have masters, cats have staff"},"content":{"rendered":"

Our home has been turned into a well-organized crime scene. Jaz has settled into a nice routine: daycare on Mondays and Thursdays, grooming on the weekends, and terrorization of the cats in between. She\u2019ll chase them from barstool to scratching post to sofa, until they surrender and disappear upstairs (where Jaz isn\u2019t allowed). Sometimes, she\u2019ll corner one of them, attempting to stick her nose in their fur and take a good whiff. But she\u2019s messing with the wrong felines. If she thinks she can win this battle, she\u2019s got another thing coming. Our cats are no pushovers, and, unfortunately for Jaz, they will not succumb to the mere threat of nuclear weaponry. For over the past year, they have realized that Jaz is a lot of bark and no bite, and that they hold some impressive ammo of their own…<\/p>\n

$\"In$ <\/a>
\nYou better watch your back, Jaz…<\/em><\/p>\n

Namely, whenever possible, our cats play the sympathy card with mommy and daddy. Their big eyes and scurried trips up the stairs scream: \u201cHelp us! Please!\u201d However, when they suspect we\u2019re not looking, they\u2019ll throw a punch or two to defend their kind. From time to time, our oldest cat, Nana, even builds up the courage to turn the tables and chase Jaz around the living room, or hit her on the head when she passes under the scratching post. Nasty little sneak-attacks! Moreover, when Jaz comes home from daycare, Nana will rub herself up against her, as if by transferring her scent, she is reclaiming her property… or perhaps this falls in the \u2018kill \u2018em with kindness\u2019-category…?
\nDogs have masters, cats have staff. Clich\u00e9 but oh so true. Nana is working hard on making Jaz one of her minions, because she knows that it\u2019s only a matter of time; eventually, we all cave.
\nTake last weekend, for instance. I was grooming Jaz, and Nana came down to revel in her misery. A shameless case of Schadenfreude. She pulled up a chair, and came to take a closer look at Jaz, who was on the grooming table, held up by her noose, unable to defend herself…<\/p>\n

$\"Our$ <\/a>
\nNana: “Well, hello there, doggy…”<\/em><\/p>\n

It could have been the perfect crime, had I not been there with them. So out came Nana\u2019s most innocent face as she she purred and twirled around on the chair, meowed at Jaz a couple of times, and was taken aback by the sight of this other, gorgeous cat in the mirror… If you didn\u2019t know any better, you\u2019d think she might actually be growing fond of Jaz!<\/p>\n

$\""Hey...$ <\/a>
\n“Ooooh! Look at her!”<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"